“Since everything is but an apparition, perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may as well burst out into horselaugh.”
-Song Chen Pa
“I detest being pushy, and I detest pushy deals, people!”Oscar blurted, during one of my training sessions.” I know that when I go shopping, I just want to be left alone and not bothered by deals people. My station is that if I want help, I’ll ask for it,” he continued as he plodded with the whole conception of proactively approaching guests.
There are numerous ideas and generalities, tools, and tactics used by the stylish people in deals that you too might find too” pushy” to use. Let us try to understand what’s really going on then rather than simply saying, “Well, I could not do that!”
.Over the numerous times that I’ve trained deals people, I’ve heard this and other expostulations to using particular ways numerous times ahead. The resistant passions that Oscar and numerous others, myself included, have been relatively normal. When brazened with anything that will take one out of one’s comfort zone, there’s resistance. An internal pull back, an ending of the mind, and decaying of the heart. It’s important to understand that the”Well, I could not do that!” response is a natural” shut down” to extending your current comfort zone. Leaving the comfort zone and trying a new commodity for some people is perceived as highly grueling and can be stressful, whereas for others, leaving their comfort zone is interpreted as” adventure!”How do you perceive it?
There are no easy answers for those of you compendiums who struggle with this issue. Stepping out of the”Comfort zone” and into the”Learning zone” means coming to terms and having the courage to a) overcome the fear of rejection and b) being suitable to persist long enough until you have learned what works for you and what doesn’t. Until you have developed the skill and stretched the old Comfort zone boundary into a new comfort zone.
By the way, stretch your bodies gently at first until you’ve increased in confidence.
A) Prostrating the fear of rejection
Selling means that you have to be suitable to take rejection on the chin and still maintain a positive station; this is a lot easier said than done. However, you could be rallied with a simple vim talk, If handling rejection was simply an intellectual exercise. Indeed though intellectually, you know that it isn’t you that’s being rejected, but the product, you still take the”No” tête-à-tête. You still take the no to heart.
Dealing with rejection is both a matter of understanding how to deal with it mentally, as well as conquering the fear emotionally.” No!” was one of the first words we ever learned. For numerous of us, the word”No!” was followed by pain, either physical or emotional or both, and over the times we’ve linked up, that no means pain.
There’s another solid negative association that numerous of us have been tutored during our constructive times growing up around the N-word. The maturity of you reading this was most probably not bought up in a home where everything you asked for you entered. This means that, like utmost kiddies, you asked mute and pater for numerous effects and were told”No!” you can not have them. Over time we learned that asking for what we wanted meant”No!” so we stopped asking, thereby avoiding hearing the N-word and buttressing the connection between no and rejection.
The key to understanding intellectually how to overcome the fear of rejection in the selling is to begin to remove the connection between”No” and our feeling rejected. In speaking with numerous successful deals professionals over time, what’s apparent is that they’ve developed a number of internal strategies to the”N” word. One of the most important is that they’ve dissociated their anticipation of how effects should be from the result.
A Zen adage puts it this way,” Without treasured prospects, there can be no burglary.” Author Iyanla Van Zandt has this to say about anticipation,” Mistrustfulness is bred in the internal state of attachment to an emotional investment in the outgrowth.”
Suppose about it. Why do we get worried when we do not hear what we want to hear (and in dealing, we want to hear”Yes!”)? Why do we get disappointed when we get turned down? It’s because we’ve erected an attachment to the outgrowth or expected result. In selling, this means that we want to make a trade to make our deals share, or win a competition or, in some cases, indeed hold onto our job. It’s this veritably same attachment to outgrowth that creates emotional stress when our offer is rejected. Over time the negative emotion builds, and soon enough, it’s the fear that’s in control. So the first strategy to conquering the fear of rejection is to let go of any prospects that you have about the client and the implicit trade you may or may not make. Focus on that which you can control, not that which you can’t. You can only control the asking, not the response!
As one of Australia’s leading authorities and trainers in deals operations, Ian Segal has been involved in the coaching, training, and development of deals directors and salesmen for over two decades.
Drawing on 25 times of experience in deals, deals operation, and leading an HR and training platoon, Ian brings a potent cure of financial reality and practicality to his workshop as a Deals Performance Trainer.
Engaging directly with business possessors and both neophyte and endured deals directors likewise, across a wide variety of diligence and dealing disciplines, the focus of Ian’s work is to transfigure deals results for companies by perfecting deals operation practices.
Ian is the author of”Bulletproof Your Deals Team-The 5 Keys To Turbo- Boosting Your Deals Team’s Results” and a number of business papers, business reports, and white papers, including”The fish stink from the head!” and”Why Deals Training Does not Work.”
Ian has an inextinguishable hunger for studying selling and people operation and has passionately pursued answers to the question”How come some people can vend and most can’t?”